On knowing your worth and adding tax…

“The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.”
C.G. Jung

It’s so very easy to doubt your own worth. In a constant barrage of beautiful, successful people, it is quite normal to feel unable to fit in or to fit the mold. Every comment, every rejection, every judgement only serves to make you feel more and more worthless. People can be cruel, dismissive and sometimes hateful. And we are faced with these types of people every single day – often our friends, colleagues, and sometimes, our lovers.

starburstThe truth is that we allow people to treat you the way they do. Nancy Roosevelt was quoted as saying: ‘No one can make  you inferior without your consent.’ Your energy, confidence and attitude is the currency that others will transact with. I know many people who have settled for less, and accepted the cards dealt because deep inside, they don’t believe they deserve more. They seem to have it all together in their life, but when it come to relationships, they just can’t seem to shake the habit of dating cruel or unloving people.

When I look at my life, I’ve created and controlled my bubble of career, friendships and community. I adore my tribe and place huge amounts of reliance on this bunch of oddballs that I have chosen for myself, whether for a season or a lifetime. I choose who I invest my time and energy on, and when, and I place value on that time. I am blessed with wonderful friends and my inner circle is sacred and thoughtfully selective.

However, in my relationships with men, I haven’t always placed the same kind of value on my time, energy and emotions. I’ve tolerated men who don’t appreciate me, who don’t value my heart, who take and take, who don’t call back, who have disrespected me — I’ve allowed men to not treat me what I’m worth and not really placing a value on my own worth. I’ve made excuses, justified and eagerly re-entered the game of push and pull with men who clearly don’t really value me much at all, chipping away the low self-esteem that got me there in the first place.

It has taken me years of heart aches, heart tramples, picking up that phone when every cell in your body knows it’s the unhealthy thing to do, obsessing, infatuating, idealizing,  for me to finally realise that all I am doing is de-valuing myself.

Self-love takes time. But with each babystep I grow in confidence and contentment in my relationships, as I have in other areas of my life. I’ve stopped apologising for who I am and have learned that I am enough. I embrace my imperfections both physically and within my personality, recognising that those imperfections are part of the beauty that makes me, me. I am less likely to put up with behaviour that brings down my feelings and emotions, and I have become better at calling out people when they do such a thing.

Know your value and don’t accept being treated in a way less than you deserve. You deserve to be treated the way you treat others, and vice versa. The minute you negotiate your self worth and accept less, you say to the universe that you don’t deserve any better. Change for yourself  but don’t change out of the wrong reasons to appease someone or in hopes that they will like you more. If they judge you for who you are now, they aren’t your fit.

The moment you start recognising your own worth, you will find it much harder to stay around people who don’t.

Know your worth and add tax.

 

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A Forest Frozen in Time – Namibia

The Namib Desert is a stunning place to visit. With endless giant sand dunes, rusted red by the iron content of the area, you find yourself mesmerised by the way they curve and lean with the wind, growing higher and higher by the day as each tiny particle of sand is deposited on the top.

Amidst the towering red dunes of the Namib-Naklauft National Park lies the haunting and spectacular Deadvlei. Deadvlei means dead marsh (from the English dead and the Afrikaans vlei). Where there was once a sticky marsh, now lies a dry white clay pan, surrounded by some of the highest sand dunes in the world.

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It is believed that the clay pan formed more than a thousand years ago, when the Tsauchab river flooded after heavy rainfall and created shallow pools of water. In these marshes the camel thorn trees grew. But after around 200 years, the climate changed. Drought struck the area. The sand dunes soon blocked off the Tsaucheb river and any water from the once luscious marsh.

With no water, the trees were unable to survive. But they did not disappear. In the harsh climate the trees dried out instead of decomposing, and the desert sun scorched them into blackened bones, never to vanish from the earth.

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As the giant sand dunes grow taller and taller over the years, they need a bigger footprint. It is believed that in years to come, the trees of the Deadvlei will be swallowed up by the dunes.

But for now all that remains are 900 year old tree skeletons trapped in a white clay marsh, set against red rusted dunes and a brilliant blue sky.

A forest frozen in time.

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Stargazer {Space Geek Post}

“I like the stars. It’s the illusion of permanence, I think. I mean, they’re always flaring up and caving in and going out. But from here, I can pretend…I can pretend that things last. I can pretend that lives last longer than moments. Gods come, and gods go. Mortals flicker and flash and fade. Worlds don’t last; and stars and galaxies are transient, fleeting things that twinkle like fireflies and vanish into cold and dust. But I can pretend…”
Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 7: Brief Lives

Allow me to embrace my inner space geek for a while…

There is nothing more beautiful in my life right now than swinging on my hammock on my front porch and looking up at the night sky. Here, just south of the Equator, in Tanzania, the stars and planets are crystal clear and I find myself lost in the stars for many an hour.

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The sharpest view of the Orion Nebula © NASA/ESA/M. Robberto (Space Telescope Science Institute/ESA) and the Hubble Space Telescope Orion Treasury Project Team

Throughout time, the sky has piqued our curiosity. Eclipses, thecycle of the seasons, the rising and setting of the Moon, Sun, and planets, the motion of the stars — all have fascinated human beings since our earliest ancestors first looked up. Monuments constructed across our home planet, from Stonehenge to Machu Picchu, bear witness to our ancient and endless fascination with the stars.

We have to wonder where this constant fascination with the skies comes from. Even if the stars are way out there, distant and unreachable, we still feel and seek a deep connection with them. In the modern scientific attempt to study the skies, we identify the same longing for meaning that drove our ancestors to look up and worship the gods. Our amazing telescopes, such as the Very Large Telescope and the ALMA facility operated by the European Southern Observatory in Chile, or the cluster of amazing telescopes atop Mauna Kea in Hawaii, are testimonies to our modern urge to continue to decipher the heavens. We know the answers are there, waiting.

Something I love is how the circle closes when we realize that we ourselves are made of star stuff. The atoms that make up our bodies and everything around us came from stars that died over five billion years ago. To know this, to know that we can trace our material origins to our universe is to bridge our existence to the cosmos. We have discovered that we are beings made of stars that can ponder our origins and destiny. And the circle continues…

This worldview that modern science brought about is nothing short of wonderful; and in doing so, it continues and gives meaning to our ancestors’ urges to understand and decipher the skies. They were looking up to find their origin – we looked up and found it.

Link: Visions of the Universe proves just how awe-inspiringly beautiful outer space is…