Decisions, Directions, Crossroads and Choices

Months ago I made the scary decision of deciding my time in Prague should come to an end, and it was time to pursue another path. I say the decision was scary at the time – now, many months later with only a few weeks left in Prague, I am completely terrified.

A large factor in my decision was the desire to change paths, change routes, basically pursue a career that takes me in a very different direction from what I am on now. I was never going to be a career-teacher. Teaching was a good place to start and made perfect sense considering my love of working with children and my endless desire to ‘make-a-difference’. But teaching in the beautiful, but very safe, bubble of international schools was only going to satisfy that desire for so long. My dad once said to me that I always had something else in my heart – and that something was realised very clearly in my time in Ghana last summer. The children I met and worked with were the beginning of a stirring that had long been present – I was meant to do something for them, something substantial, that lasts, that impacts. I was meant to make a difference in the lives of these children.

However, it’s all very well having this desire. It’s a very different thing making it happen. I have applied and been knocked back for various jobs, and the one that I got furthest down the interview trail for (as in, down to the final 3) was for just the kind of job I was talking about. Despite not getting the job, I was given really great feedback and encouragement to try and apply for them again in the future. It gave me a boost, knowing that I was going in the right direction, and that I was very much the right person for this kind of job. But, at the end of the day, I still do not have a job from September onwards.

I am now at a point where I need to make a decision. Where will be the right place to move to in order to be best placed for continual applications for international development organisations? Do I go for it in my desire to study a further qualification in International Development as distance learning? Should I pick up work elsewhere in the meantime – and what kind of work should I try for? Am I making the right decision?

I have clung to the lyrics of a worship song recently as I know so much of this process means prayer and listening for that quiet whisper from God telling me that I am going in the right direction, and He is going before me, opening the right doors at the right time. The lyrics that have really made a difference are these:

“You are the voice that calls the universe to be
You are the whisper in my heart that speaks to me
And ’til I see You face to face and grace amazing takes me home
I’ll trust in You.”

I’m trusting.

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